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A letter to my first child before the birth of my second

1
My beautiful boy,

So, here we are. Just a few days away from a whole new world.

I wanted to write you a letter to express just how much I love you & as I’m sure the line will blur from when we were a 3 to when we became a 4, I want to honour the 3 years we’ve had together. Just us. Just beautiful little you & Mummy & Daddy.

It’s difficult to put in the words how profound & beautiful these years have been & how much you have taught & given me. I have given a lot of myself too, as has Daddy, but we have received far

SelfishMother.com
2
more than given out. Becoming your Mother has given me the clearest moments of gratitude. You have been the most wonderous thing ever to happen to me.

You arrived on Mother’s Day after being very overdue (16 days!) You had lots of dark hair like Daddy & my nose. I could not stop starring at you. I was amazed we’d made you & you were ours to keep. I still am now.

You loved the boob! You were breastfed for ages. Far longer than we expected or that was accepted by people around me, but I loved it & so did you. We were inseparable for

SelfishMother.com
3
the first year of your life which as times was intense, exhausting & overwhelming, but it was a lovely bubble of love & we were just getting to know each other. We have built a gorgeous little bond that it really special. We are so close & so in love with each other, it’s the best.

You are 3 now & you are a handsome, bright bundle of energy. Your speech is so amazing. You are so chatty & confident. You have a great sense of humour. You love your food. You eat a lot but are still so tiny. You’re still in 18-24 months clothes. I

SelfishMother.com
4
think you’re going to be a little pocket rocket like Daddy & I. You are slightly obsessed with cleaning! Hoovering, spraying & wiping, ironing, hose piping the garden & sweeping up!! You love running around, playing hide & seek & racing with Grandad. You’re great fun.

You are very affectionate, you love a cuddle & a kiss & there is nothing Mummy or Daddy love more. You keep telling me you are going to cuddle baby brother & rock him. You keep telling me how you want baby brother to sleep in your bed & that you

SelfishMother.com
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will change his nappy yourself. You keep coming over to give my bump a kiss & a cuddle saying, “Hello baby brother, just giving you a cuddle”. You keep asking if it’s June yet as baby brother is coming in June. You think he is going to come out of my belly button. The cuteness is too much.

We enjoy simple pleasures together. I love watching you play, eating breakfast together, reading books, going to the park, playing in our garden. We talk all day to each other & you like to talk to everyone else we meet too. You like to order for

SelfishMother.com
6
yourself when you’re out, you ask for the bill & you ask a million questions a day. You’ve got a gorgeous little personality & for someone so young, you have an infectious energy & warmth that fills me with pride. You are pure magic to be around.

I’m incredibly anxious about having another baby & our little family dynamic changing, but I am high on hope that all will be ok & I’m focusing on positive thoughts of us being a family of 4, of watching you love your new sibling & grow up together. I am excited about giving

SelfishMother.com
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you the gift of a sibling & experiencing life together from here on.

But, no matter what, I will carry you & these 3 years in my heart forever. The feelings of becoming a mother, your mother, will be forever etched in every part of me. You are the most beautiful joy, Seb & I love you very much.

Forever my first born, my little miracle, my Seb.

Love you, Mummy x

SelfishMother.com
Heather Durose Clarke

By

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- 10 Jun 19

My beautiful boy,

So, here we are. Just a few days away from a whole new world.

I wanted to write you a letter to express just how much I love you & as I’m sure the line will blur from when we were a 3 to when we became a 4, I want to honour the 3 years we’ve had together. Just us. Just beautiful little you & Mummy & Daddy.

It’s difficult to put in the words how profound & beautiful these years have been & how much you have taught & given me. I have given a lot of myself too, as has Daddy, but we have received far more than given out. Becoming your Mother has given me the clearest moments of gratitude. You have been the most wonderous thing ever to happen to me.

You arrived on Mother’s Day after being very overdue (16 days!) You had lots of dark hair like Daddy & my nose. I could not stop starring at you. I was amazed we’d made you & you were ours to keep. I still am now.

You loved the boob! You were breastfed for ages. Far longer than we expected or that was accepted by people around me, but I loved it & so did you. We were inseparable for the first year of your life which as times was intense, exhausting & overwhelming, but it was a lovely bubble of love & we were just getting to know each other. We have built a gorgeous little bond that it really special. We are so close & so in love with each other, it’s the best.

You are 3 now & you are a handsome, bright bundle of energy. Your speech is so amazing. You are so chatty & confident. You have a great sense of humour. You love your food. You eat a lot but are still so tiny. You’re still in 18-24 months clothes. I think you’re going to be a little pocket rocket like Daddy & I. You are slightly obsessed with cleaning! Hoovering, spraying & wiping, ironing, hose piping the garden & sweeping up!! You love running around, playing hide & seek & racing with Grandad. You’re great fun.

You are very affectionate, you love a cuddle & a kiss & there is nothing Mummy or Daddy love more. You keep telling me you are going to cuddle baby brother & rock him. You keep telling me how you want baby brother to sleep in your bed & that you will change his nappy yourself. You keep coming over to give my bump a kiss & a cuddle saying, “Hello baby brother, just giving you a cuddle”. You keep asking if it’s June yet as baby brother is coming in June. You think he is going to come out of my belly button. The cuteness is too much.

We enjoy simple pleasures together. I love watching you play, eating breakfast together, reading books, going to the park, playing in our garden. We talk all day to each other & you like to talk to everyone else we meet too. You like to order for yourself when you’re out, you ask for the bill & you ask a million questions a day. You’ve got a gorgeous little personality & for someone so young, you have an infectious energy & warmth that fills me with pride. You are pure magic to be around.

I’m incredibly anxious about having another baby & our little family dynamic changing, but I am high on hope that all will be ok & I’m focusing on positive thoughts of us being a family of 4, of watching you love your new sibling & grow up together. I am excited about giving you the gift of a sibling & experiencing life together from here on.

But, no matter what, I will carry you & these 3 years in my heart forever. The feelings of becoming a mother, your mother, will be forever etched in every part of me. You are the most beautiful joy, Seb & I love you very much.

Forever my first born, my little miracle, my Seb.

Love you, Mummy x

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Heather Durose Clarke

I’m Heather. I’m mother to 3 year old, Sebastian, who has changed my life in so many wonderful & profound ways I am inspired to write about it. The amazing, the exhausting, the worrying, the beautiful & the challenging. I live in Manchester & I work in advertising for Global Media. I’m open minded, curious, chatty & interested Mother who loves to read & loves to write. You will usually find me either hanging out with my little fam, hopping off on little jaunts here & there, shopping for excellent outfits for myself & Seb, catching up with my friends & family or in a pilates position. I’m often never far from a glass of wine either…..I’m a lover of life & I hope some of my waffles may resonate with you & we can perhaps share a laugh, a cyber high five or hug over the wonderful world of parenthood!

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