So, I run this thing called This Girl is Enough. It’s a non-profit, women only movement that encourages women to shine their light into the world and challenges them to love themselves and other women a little more.
I spent most of my life not feeling enough, not a good enough wife, mother, friend, sister and I’d remind myself on the daily how fat I was, how stupid I was, how ugly I was.
And then my daughter (Darcy, 13) started to mature and I noticed how she was watching my self loathing, and I saw how it hurt her to think that I felt this way about myself, when all she could see was that I was beautiful, and clever, and funny, and her mum.
Even though I already had two boys, it had never really occurred to me the damage I may be doing to my own children’s self-worth by hating on myself while they were around. That was until I had a teenage daughter.
The expectation on girls and women in our current social climate is so so damaging, and our lack of worth is having huge knock on effects on our well-being. We are seeing far too many cases of self harm and even suicide brought on by feelings of inadequacy to achieve the unachievable.
It’s now time where my own daughter is walking her path of evolution, and my blood runs cold to think that she may feel shitty about herself or even worse, hurt herself through feelings of not living up to others ideals. I fear that she’ll lose all perspective of what she brings to the world and that she feels as though she’s not enough.
She’s more than enough, what she has for this world the world had better brace itself for.
She’s clever and funny and quick and brave and curious and inspirational and beautiful and fiery and fierce.
Obviously I’ve been talking to her, instilling confidence and a sense of content with who she is, but I’m never sure if my message is being heard by a teenager who’s always got one eye on their phone.
And then last night my 13 year old daughter said to me;
“Mum. I’ve written a blog if you want it, I’ve emailed it over to you”
I went to my email and I opened this;
“The teenage years can be full of mysterious beginnings and ends.
For example, periods (but be careful, don’t say it too loud. You might make someone “grossed out” or “disgusted”), friendships come to an end because of stupidly viscous fights about who has the flatter stomach and who’s prettier and who’s going to steal their boyfriends.
Girls this day and age are brought into a society full of “the goals life” that includes a flat stomach and an insane amount of free time to walk across the road from the huge house to the perfect beach loaded with six packs and tight tummies.
Everyone else who have insecurities are seeing all of these Instagram posts boasting about their “perfect life” and realising that they don’t have it, which then leaves them sad, envious and bored at home shaming themselves to whatever extent.
BUT… that “perfect, amazing life” where people only have frozen yogurt on their Snapchat story, and are happy twenty-four seven in their size 4 clothes doesn’t exist.
I know you’re surprised, right?
They make it so convincing that this is what happiness looks like. I’m sure they don’t mean to offend you or make you feel insecure etc, but it does because we forget that it’s not just those things that make up happiness.
Happiness is when you enjoy what you’re doing and love your insecurities because they are just as beautiful as that girl in the magazine.
Just a quickie, two things two remember;
One, don’t care about what people think, recently I have been pursuing this and I feel so much more me on social media. I force myself to keep the certain post up on Snapchat etc, purely because I want to and not because it will make other people happy/sad. It makes feel 10x better, omg! I challenge you to do the same and set yourself free from whatever insecurities are holding you back.
Two, the girl in the magazine doesn’t look like the girl in the magazine, I usually forget this but I shouldn’t because, reality check, she doesn’t.
If you are struggling with insecurities etc good people to follow on Intstagram are…
And so, as it turns out, my message is being heard, and I am one proud mama!
Whatever we’re learning in life, we have a duty to teach our young girls and to share with other women in a bid to rise us all above the shallow judgements of others. To find peace with who we are right now and to shine our lights so fucking bright that it blinds.
“Here’s to strong women, may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them”
All the love
(Might I also add you can also follow me on Instagram :O @this_girl_is_enough I’ve also created an amazingly supportive, non-judgemental and interactive Facebook community called We Are Enough, come and join the movement)