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Can parents have it all?

1
Before I had children, I naively thought they would just tiptoe into my life. Along would come the perfect, bouncing little balls of wonderfulness who would barely shake my world. I would put money on other parents agreeing that children don’t just shake our world, they pick it up with grubby hands, chuck it about vigorously, bounce it against a wall and continue to play roughly with it. Kids are a game changer, and I question whether being a parent means we can no longer have it all.
Work changes
I found going back to corporate life very difficult
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2
once I had two children. My priorities changed, and I am happy now to be in a new career that works for the family. That doesn’t mean it’s been easy to adapt to a new profession, workplace and lifestyle. I still have days where I wish I could go to an office and get on with my work because working from home brings many disruptions. Then there’s the guilt of not doing a million chores staring me in the face as I try to work.
The reality of work
I see friends who appear to have the ideal career. The reality is that these individuals are juggling a
SelfishMother.com
3
million balls too. They have to manage childcare, they may miss school events, and they worry about not spending enough time with their children. If there were a perfect way to work as a parent, I’d be applying for the job, but I honestly think all of the roles come with fat old challenges. Stay at home parents also have it hard, because often they don’t get a break at all.
Relationships
Distance can be created between a couple due to time-consuming, sleep snatching little creatures called children. They prevent you from spending regular quality
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4
time alone with your partner. However, they also bring a closeness that is difficult to explain. I think having children has made me closer to my parents. Now I appreciate the sacrifices they made and why I was told to tidy my room (and all the many other statements I took to be nagging) I understand why they spent time and effort instilling those values into me. Thanks, folks, it takes a lot of work to nag, I know that now. I do it enough.
Fabulous Friendships
Friends who don’t have children may not understand why you disappear into the Bermuda
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Triangle when you have babies. When they are finally asleep, you want to sleep more than you want to go out. Admittedly, I have missed social occasions because I had children and could not attend. Hopefully, people understand it’s not personal. I have made some wonderful friends since I had my boys. These friendships have developed not only because our children play together but because we all ‘get it.’ We are going through the trials of parenting together and that allows a closeness and a shared understanding of the good days, the bad days and the
SelfishMother.com
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days when you may want to hand a little darling into the charity shop.
Social life
Before the little tinkers jumped into my world, I did my fair share of socialising and travelling. When bubbas came, I didn’t necessarily feel the pull to stay out late not just because I had done it in my past, but because I wanted to sleep! I still love going out with the husband and seeing my friends, it has just reduced to a simmer. The late nights are significantly earlier, and the distance travelled in search of fun, a lot shorter. Mainly because it takes effort
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to get on a train these days and the lie-ins are gone.

It’s subjective, because ‘having it all’ will differ for each individual. Whatever you have in life, it’s likely you will want more, and that’s the key here. It’s important that we stand still once in a while and take stock of all the great things we do have. We have to accept that nothing is perfect. I’m just going to do the standing still thing a bit later as I have boys to pick up from school and a blog to submit!

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Corporate to Kids

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- 13 Jun 19

Before I had children, I naively thought they would just tiptoe into my life. Along would come the perfect, bouncing little balls of wonderfulness who would barely shake my world. I would put money on other parents agreeing that children don’t just shake our world, they pick it up with grubby hands, chuck it about vigorously, bounce it against a wall and continue to play roughly with it. Kids are a game changer, and I question whether being a parent means we can no longer have it all.

Work changes

I found going back to corporate life very difficult once I had two children. My priorities changed, and I am happy now to be in a new career that works for the family. That doesn’t mean it’s been easy to adapt to a new profession, workplace and lifestyle. I still have days where I wish I could go to an office and get on with my work because working from home brings many disruptions. Then there’s the guilt of not doing a million chores staring me in the face as I try to work.

The reality of work

I see friends who appear to have the ideal career. The reality is that these individuals are juggling a million balls too. They have to manage childcare, they may miss school events, and they worry about not spending enough time with their children. If there were a perfect way to work as a parent, I’d be applying for the job, but I honestly think all of the roles come with fat old challenges. Stay at home parents also have it hard, because often they don’t get a break at all.

Relationships

Distance can be created between a couple due to time-consuming, sleep snatching little creatures called children. They prevent you from spending regular quality time alone with your partner. However, they also bring a closeness that is difficult to explain. I think having children has made me closer to my parents. Now I appreciate the sacrifices they made and why I was told to tidy my room (and all the many other statements I took to be nagging) I understand why they spent time and effort instilling those values into me. Thanks, folks, it takes a lot of work to nag, I know that now. I do it enough.

Fabulous Friendships

Friends who don’t have children may not understand why you disappear into the Bermuda Triangle when you have babies. When they are finally asleep, you want to sleep more than you want to go out. Admittedly, I have missed social occasions because I had children and could not attend. Hopefully, people understand it’s not personal. I have made some wonderful friends since I had my boys. These friendships have developed not only because our children play together but because we all ‘get it.’ We are going through the trials of parenting together and that allows a closeness and a shared understanding of the good days, the bad days and the days when you may want to hand a little darling into the charity shop.

Social life

Before the little tinkers jumped into my world, I did my fair share of socialising and travelling. When bubbas came, I didn’t necessarily feel the pull to stay out late not just because I had done it in my past, but because I wanted to sleep! I still love going out with the husband and seeing my friends, it has just reduced to a simmer. The late nights are significantly earlier, and the distance travelled in search of fun, a lot shorter. Mainly because it takes effort to get on a train these days and the lie-ins are gone.

It’s subjective, because ‘having it all’ will differ for each individual. Whatever you have in life, it’s likely you will want more, and that’s the key here. It’s important that we stand still once in a while and take stock of all the great things we do have. We have to accept that nothing is perfect. I’m just going to do the standing still thing a bit later as I have boys to pick up from school and a blog to submit!

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Corporate to Kids

Who: Sarah - Queen of self-deprecation Job: from corporate HR career to Mum, Writer and Blogger Children: two boys with a 13 month age gap!! Obsessions: writing, Haribos, rainbows, coffee, fizz

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