I think I get it. I lived with my mum, she was the one that said no. I saw my dad every other weekend, he was the one that said yes. Yes to everything my brother and I wanted to do. My Mum – the bad cop and my Dad – the good one.
Now this, for me, must have started from around the age of 8, yet here I am. Mother of a 1 year old,playing bad cop already.
Things aren’t quite the same, we all live together, and my daughters father and I are very much together.
Mummy does what’s needed, the feeding, the changing, the nap times . But that’s because I’m there to do it. I’m not discrediting her father in any way, he pays the bills and he looks after us, he is a fantastic father. (No discredit to my father also. We are very very close, and believe me he had his bad cop moments!)
I spent a lot of my daughters first months feeling guilty that he (her Dad) would feel left out, and no doubt he did. She craved my voice and my scent, and I craved hers. The bond is undeniable.
Yet here I am 1 year down the line and I cant help but feel the only person she craves now is her Dad. Maybe its because when we go to the doctors its me thats has to hold her whilst they feel her tummy and stick a lolly stick half way down her throat. Or because I try and make sure she eats cabbage and carrots and all those awful (very nutritious) things. Or maybe its because im the one that drops her at nursery every week and passes her into the arms of someone she doesnt know too well. And at the end of all of this daddy is there to put you to bed, with a story and a cuddle. This is not a complaint, we all know bed time is not for the faint hearted.
Its hard for me. I want to do whats right for my child, even if, at that time, they arent the happiest about it. We have such a fun time together everyday and I’m sure she doesn’t pick up or dwell on any of this crap that I do.
But even though I worry about it I cant lie – bad cop all the way. As much as it hurts, daddy can be the good cop, and you know what? Mamma does (actually) know best.
Get those veggies down ya girl!