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- 11 Sep 17

  1. Regardless of any headlines, Google’s culture is even more impressive than people think. HR, my boss, my bosses bosses boss all congratulated me on my tough but wonderful decision to leave to spend all my time with Freddie. My favourite quote was Thanks for all you’ve done at Google – life is long and, who knows, you may be back or doing something related, in future. I hope you’ll take a piece of Google with you on the journey, thanks for making us all better for working with you” Every company should respond this way.
  2. Telling people I left my wonderful job to be a Mum means they don’t ask me any more questions and tilt their head sympathetically “aww she WAS so clever/interesting/useful before”. It also means I am no longer asked ANY questions at dinner or drinks nights about anything other than my child. Seriously, I am now apparently devoid of all intellect or opinion.
  3. Telling the same people I’ve RETIRED and BOOM I’m suddenly a goddess of monumental achievement and the centre of all lines of enquiry.  BOTH MEAN I AM AT HOME but the most impressive one is surely when I work unpaid for two decades?!
  4. I was so confident before I spent 2 years getting NO feedback at all from my boss/employee/colleague/companion/buddy and centre of my universe. Now I just long for a peer review or annual report.
  5. I desperately miss wearing lovely clothes and not having to change two pairs of jeans in a day due to excessive weeing by said child.
  6. I couldn’t function without the £2 toddler group in the next street. Who knew a church full of batteryless toys and toddler vomit could make me so happy?
  7. I have still got ‘it’ only now I’m even faster and put up with less bulls****
  8. Men say my decision to leave my career was BRAVE. Whereas women nod knowingly and smile in solidarity. I say sod the bravery…bravery is something that soldiers/nurses/firemen have. It is not BRAVE to want to raise my child full time 24/7 365 days a year. It is a privilege and a gift and I couldn’t do it without all the support from my family.
  9. Patience was something I thought I had before having a child. I was WRONG. Now I have patience and an unhealthy reliance on custard creams and Nutella on fresh white bread as rewards for getting through the day without totally losing my sh*t.
  10. My mums are AMAZING. I NEVER knew just how amazing..literally legends..both of them.
  11. We should pay parents what we pay the highest paid CEOs. Sod the odd extra maternity/paternity week or extra pay here or there. Pay us what we deserve which frankly is as SH*T LOAD. If we want to ensure the world gets more amazing why wouldn’t we invest in the people who are literally RAISING THE HUMAN RACE? As my dear friend put it recently “Motherhood is considered a worthless job that we do because we are biologically able to do so. Rather than admired and worshipped because we desperately want to raise healthy, thoughtful, kind, caring, confident and compassionate people.”
  12. Any subject that involves parenting is a hornet’s nest of polar opposite views, indignation, judgement and black humour (thank goodness). I love how we can all be so different, all think we are right, all get it wrong and all end up with vomit on our faces at one point or another.
  13. The body literally never returns to how it was. I did a 10k recently…wet myself all the way down to my socks. THANK YOU, 10lb baby.
  14. No one tells the truth about birth, the recovery or parenting and even if they did we would all think “it will be different for us” hahahahaha the brain is a wonderful thing.
  15. I’ve heard the argument that women who leave work to raise children are part of the reason why more women aren’t CEOs and women are underpaid. Utter shite. If I took a 5-year career break to learn so many NEW SKILLS I would be snapped up.  My friends who are Mums and who work are INCREDIBLE at their jobs. THIS IS WHAT MUMS DO. Hire them, understand them, promote them and they will be the best employees you ever have and they will do it all within 8-4 or 9-5. They are finely tuned emotionally intelligent leaders who can multi-task better than anyone you have ever met.
  16. The names we call mothers are all in some way annoying and pointless…single mum…full-time mum…working mum….stay at home mum. We are all full-time mummas, mum, mummy, mother, ma, mama, mams. 365 days a year 24/7. Anything else is labelling for no reason other than judgement.
  17. I am exceptionally fortunate to be able to be with my son as much as I am. Most of all my Mum friends are now the bread winners and work in full-time employment and have no choice in the matter. I feel very lucky and admire all of those able to do both. (Laura and Van – you guys are my heroes)
  18. All mums are amazing – good days, great days, dreadful days, oops I’ll do that differently next time days and watch as much TV as you want days.
  19. Lastly, I am terrified about posting this. Holds breath..presses publish.


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