That’s it, you did it, you survived the school holidays and now you can return the kids to school with an air of confidence, a spring in your step, ready to take on a whole new school year. There is something about the start of a school year. Everything seems fresh. The kids have smartly polished, brand new shoes, fancy hair cuts and sun kissed skin. Most are eager, having missed their friends, so drop off for many is a doddle. There is even something different about the parents too.
Week One Mama’s are the epitome of ‘Super Mummy’. They have had six whole weeks to prepare for this moment so they have their organisation down to a T. Every item of clothing is labelled, even the last sock. PE kit pressed and folded in school regulation PE bags. They have mastered the art of this year’s must have hair style, not to mention their own style. This week is not the week for screeching to the school gates in holey jeans and food covered sweatshirts. The summer outfits are still out in all their glory, making the most of the last rays of sunshine. Bronzed skin on show, perfectly highlighted hair and definitely well on time. Week One Mama’s are ALWAYS on time. There is no way little Tom, Dick or Harry will be late on their first week back, nor will they be waiting in the school office, surveying an empty playground ten minutes after everyone else has left at the end of the day. Week One Mama’s are perfectly punctual. Well, almost.
I tried, I mean I really tried. Day one my alarm went off and I sprang to action, ready to join the hoards of Week One Mama’s doing it right… but I am just not that organised. I probably should have sewn in school labels, but scrawling her name with a bright blue sharpie on the washing instructions does the trick just as well. Of course I could have done this job at least a week before term started but it’s easily done over a bowl of porridge before she puts them on. How was I to know she would grow that much in six weeks? The PE kit fit her fine on sports day? She can’t be trying hard enough, I’m sure she can squeeze her feet into those pumps until Christmas? Thank God I don’t have to make packed lunch, but hold it, do school dinners REALLY cost that much, keep up the good work Jamie Oliver with holding on to free school dinners for infants – please!! As for school regulation PE bag- does a bright pink ASDA one count? We can ignore the name of her previous school scrawled through (good old Sharpie strikes again) and how many times can I get away with crossing out her old school year before it’s classed as too messy?
By the time we have out sh!t together it’s half past and we have ten minutes to do the usual twenty minute all uphill stroll to school. Day one sees us arriving barely on time, out of breath and soaked to the skin because, obviously, Summer has ended already. Am I the only one doing it wrong? I have to admit the rest of Week One hasn’t exactly improved. Giving my slightly lactose intolerant toddler a celebratory milkshake definitely did not make pick up any easier (cue emergency elongated loo break) and attempting to bring the dog on drop off number two encountered more butt sniffing than I have ever seen.
It’s Ok, you can do this, there is a day and a half left to conquer Week One, bring it on! Hell, if I’m this bad on week one what will I be like by week forty? Best call Super Nanny now…