Ever heard ‘just the one then’, ‘oh you just have to have another, it’s so cruel to have just one’ or the much coveted ‘when’s the second happening then?’ (my personal fave, like you can just pull a baby out your fanny, on demand)? Then like me, you’re probably Mum to one child.
Apparently, that’s a big deal. Maybe someone forgot to tell you, but when you decided to procreate, there’s a disclaimer that you must, just must, bring several mini humans into the world.
So if like me you missed the memo, and are on the receiving end of all those ‘friendly’ questions, I thought I’d set a few things straight on behalf of the one-child community, if I may. I’ll do my best not to misrepresent.
1. It wasn’t necessarily our choice to have one child. Sometimes, nature is a bitch
2. If it was a choice, a very definite, decision that’s fine too. And no, we don’t need to explain it to you.
3. Children without siblings don’t automatically grow up to be spoilt brats. Despite popular belief, it’s not part of their DNA. That’s kinda up to the parents, whether there is one child or more.
4. Children without siblings won’t necessarily grow up to be emotionally stunted and unable to form relationships with peers because they didn’t have a brother or sister. But they might. Either way, being an only child isn’t a contributing factor.
5. One can be wonderful. Two can be terrific. Three can be thoroughly enjoyable. By the same token, one can be awful, two can be terrible, etc. You get the picture, each to their own.
I’m not half a Mum because I ‘only‘ have one child. I am a Mum. I became a Mum the minute my child was born, and having another won’t make me more of a Mum, a ‘Mummier’ Mum or dare I say it, a ‘proper Mum’, as was once suggested to me.
I have worries like other mums, but instead of worrying if I give enough time to each sibling, I worry that my child is getting too much attention. I worry that she’s in adult company too often, despite being amongst friends and family most days. I have all the ridiculous, unreasonable, contrary mum-guilt, the same as mums of siblings.
Being a Mum-to-one isn’t easier, or harder for that matter, it’s simply different.
As for my ‘one’, she didn’t choose this, but she’s got to come along for the ride, and I’ll make damn sure it’s ONEderful!