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My Girls Are Enough, Thank You!

1
On Wednesday 21st October 2015, I became a mother for the first time to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Mireya.

Throughout my pregnancy I had a lot of speculation about the gender of my child. People guessed according to the shape of my belly, to how I was generally feeling, whether I had terrible morning sickness, to what kind of food I was craving for etc. I was almost always told I was going to have a boy. You see, I’m a Nepali British born, first generation. My parents came to the U.K. in the 70’s from Nepal. Having boys is seen as far

SelfishMother.com
2
more important because they carry on the family name, more stronger, useful etc…which is obviously a load of rubbish that has been so heavily embedded in my Nepalese heritage/roots. Luckily not all share this ridiculous notion. But unfortunately some of the older generations still believe this to be true and hence teach their children, grandchildren etc to believe this. And this is how it filtrates generation to generation.

My husband and our family were absolutely ecstatic with the arrival of Mireya. As soon as she turned a year old, people

SelfishMother.com
3
(friends, family, family friends) began asking if I would like another baby. To which I always replied, ‘I would like one but let’s see’. 

I felt so lucky when I became pregnant for a second time round. As soon as people found out everyone started saying that they hope I have a boy. To which I always replied ‘Gender is not important, I just hope Baby is healthy and happy’. 

Once a family friend touched my belly and said ‘this one has to be a boy’. I was horrified and said ‘it might be a girl’, to which she tutted and said in a

SelfishMother.com
4
louder voice ‘no, it has to be a boy’. I was livid. 

My husband and I decided to find out the gender second time round as we wanted to be prepared. Mireya wore a lot of white! 

We found out that we were having another beautiful baby girl. Mireya was beyond excited that she was going to have a baby sister. It was so lovely to see her bond with my growing bump each day. My family and close friends shared my excitement and started showering me with cute little outfits. However, I could tell some people were not so happy for me. They never

SelfishMother.com
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directly said anything but would make comments such as ‘oh another baby girl. That’s nice for Mireya. Never mind’. Never mind?? How bloody rude! 

On Tuesday 10th April 2018 my second gorgeous girl arrived. We named her Mila, healthy and happy. We were over the moon and high on the newborn baby smell. 

The comments still keep coming though. I have had lots of people in the Nepalese community asking whether I’ll try again for a boy. Some people have commented that they have one of each and that’s perfect, etc. 

The other day, a family

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friend actually went on to say a whole load of shit. Saying my youngest girl looks like a boy so she can be my son! Urmm what the hell?! Then she went on to say ‘never mind that you have two daughters. Daughters are not seen as important back home. A lot of people abandon their baby girls etc’. I listened to her rubbish and could see that she was kind of enjoying telling me all this. I think she wanted to hurt my feelings (as if). I instead smiled and replied ‘it’s so terrible that girls are still seen as a burden and treated this way. But people
SelfishMother.com
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who do think like this are uneducated and have backward thinking. And it’s so sad that women themselves are the ones putting other women down’. Who else is baffled? Women should be helping women, no? This kind of behaviour deeply saddens me. The fact that some women are nurtured and conditioned to believe that a male is far more superior and important than a female. There is a lot of work that needs to be done to undo this kind of mentality and thinking. I know that it’s not just prevalent in the Nepalese community but in lots of countries. It’s
SelfishMother.com
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a global issue. 

We are so grateful and blessed to have two strong, amazing little girls. My husband and I are so proud of them. We are going to make sure that they are loved no matter what, supported and we will always be there for them. We will teach them that they can do anything that they want. The sky’s the limit! We will nurture and help them to be the best versions of themselves and we will never ever make them feel that they are anything less. 

My girls are enough, thank you! 

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- 6 Jan 19

On Wednesday 21st October 2015, I became a mother for the first time to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Mireya.

Throughout my pregnancy I had a lot of speculation about the gender of my child. People guessed according to the shape of my belly, to how I was generally feeling, whether I had terrible morning sickness, to what kind of food I was craving for etc. I was almost always told I was going to have a boy. You see, I’m a Nepali British born, first generation. My parents came to the U.K. in the 70’s from Nepal. Having boys is seen as far more important because they carry on the family name, more stronger, useful etc…which is obviously a load of rubbish that has been so heavily embedded in my Nepalese heritage/roots. Luckily not all share this ridiculous notion. But unfortunately some of the older generations still believe this to be true and hence teach their children, grandchildren etc to believe this. And this is how it filtrates generation to generation.

My husband and our family were absolutely ecstatic with the arrival of Mireya. As soon as she turned a year old, people (friends, family, family friends) began asking if I would like another baby. To which I always replied, ‘I would like one but let’s see’. 

I felt so lucky when I became pregnant for a second time round. As soon as people found out everyone started saying that they hope I have a boy. To which I always replied ‘Gender is not important, I just hope Baby is healthy and happy’. 

Once a family friend touched my belly and said ‘this one has to be a boy’. I was horrified and said ‘it might be a girl’, to which she tutted and said in a louder voice ‘no, it has to be a boy’. I was livid. 

My husband and I decided to find out the gender second time round as we wanted to be prepared. Mireya wore a lot of white! 

We found out that we were having another beautiful baby girl. Mireya was beyond excited that she was going to have a baby sister. It was so lovely to see her bond with my growing bump each day. My family and close friends shared my excitement and started showering me with cute little outfits. However, I could tell some people were not so happy for me. They never directly said anything but would make comments such as ‘oh another baby girl. That’s nice for Mireya. Never mind’. Never mind?? How bloody rude! 

On Tuesday 10th April 2018 my second gorgeous girl arrived. We named her Mila, healthy and happy. We were over the moon and high on the newborn baby smell. 

The comments still keep coming though. I have had lots of people in the Nepalese community asking whether I’ll try again for a boy. Some people have commented that they have one of each and that’s perfect, etc. 

The other day, a family friend actually went on to say a whole load of shit. Saying my youngest girl looks like a boy so she can be my son! Urmm what the hell?! Then she went on to say ‘never mind that you have two daughters. Daughters are not seen as important back home. A lot of people abandon their baby girls etc’. I listened to her rubbish and could see that she was kind of enjoying telling me all this. I think she wanted to hurt my feelings (as if). I instead smiled and replied ‘it’s so terrible that girls are still seen as a burden and treated this way. But people who do think like this are uneducated and have backward thinking. And it’s so sad that women themselves are the ones putting other women down’. Who else is baffled? Women should be helping women, no? This kind of behaviour deeply saddens me. The fact that some women are nurtured and conditioned to believe that a male is far more superior and important than a female. There is a lot of work that needs to be done to undo this kind of mentality and thinking. I know that it’s not just prevalent in the Nepalese community but in lots of countries. It’s a global issue. 

We are so grateful and blessed to have two strong, amazing little girls. My husband and I are so proud of them. We are going to make sure that they are loved no matter what, supported and we will always be there for them. We will teach them that they can do anything that they want. The sky’s the limit! We will nurture and help them to be the best versions of themselves and we will never ever make them feel that they are anything less. 

My girls are enough, thank you! 

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