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The Eye of the Motherhood Storm

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When I look back now, I kind of feel being pregnant was one of the first times I was safely encased in the eye of the motherhood storm. I didn’t know it at the time, how could I?.

I didn’t understand the magnitude of what was about to tear through my life – leaving no feelings, no emotions, no sense of identity unturned.

Motherhood doesn’t pick and choose what it will disrupt. It claims everything as it’s own and throws it all up in the air as we stand there in mute shock as all the pieces of our life land in places we never even knew

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existed.

For some mums, the new order, the new reality, the new lay of the land is beautiful and even better than it was before. They find they are filled to the brim with a new found confidence, a sense of purpose and all of a sudden, their way in life is clear to them.

For others this new order, this new territory although beautiful is frightening. Nothing feels like it used to and the new title of ’Mother’ brings with it an onslaught of imposter syndrome.

The uncertainty that is birthed at the same time as the baby can be the thief of joy

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for many mums. It lurks in the background, creating doubt and fear in your ability to do what is necessary in this new role. It hurts like an invisible bruise that is stamped all over you – no one else can see it and you can’t quite describe what it feels like but all you know is that it hurts.

Little did I know then that I would go on to become the very thing I had been in. I am the eye of the storm for my children. I am where they feel safe. I provide the shelter from the storm that rages inside of and around them at times.

But what about

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me?

What about when the storm rages in and around me?

I’m learning what it takes for me to feel safe. I’m learning to recognise and appreciate the strength it takes to lean on others.

I am learning to seek shelter before the storm.

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- 13 May 19

When I look back now, I kind of feel being pregnant was one of the first times I was safely encased in the eye of the motherhood storm. I didn’t know it at the time, how could I?.

I didn’t understand the magnitude of what was about to tear through my life – leaving no feelings, no emotions, no sense of identity unturned.

Motherhood doesn’t pick and choose what it will disrupt. It claims everything as it’s own and throws it all up in the air as we stand there in mute shock as all the pieces of our life land in places we never even knew existed.

For some mums, the new order, the new reality, the new lay of the land is beautiful and even better than it was before. They find they are filled to the brim with a new found confidence, a sense of purpose and all of a sudden, their way in life is clear to them.

For others this new order, this new territory although beautiful is frightening. Nothing feels like it used to and the new title of ‘Mother’ brings with it an onslaught of imposter syndrome.

The uncertainty that is birthed at the same time as the baby can be the thief of joy for many mums. It lurks in the background, creating doubt and fear in your ability to do what is necessary in this new role. It hurts like an invisible bruise that is stamped all over you – no one else can see it and you can’t quite describe what it feels like but all you know is that it hurts.

Little did I know then that I would go on to become the very thing I had been in. I am the eye of the storm for my children. I am where they feel safe. I provide the shelter from the storm that rages inside of and around them at times.

But what about me?

What about when the storm rages in and around me?

I’m learning what it takes for me to feel safe. I’m learning to recognise and appreciate the strength it takes to lean on others.

I am learning to seek shelter before the storm.

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Having felt a huge loss of identity after the birth of her first child, Jacqueline realised that there was a huge gap between the reality and the expectations of motherhood. She has spent the last few years coaching mothers who feel like she did. Jacqueline is a mindset coach who works with mums that are stuck in that place between who they used to be and who they are becoming. She helps mums get very clear on who they are whilst holding space for them so that they can continue the transition into the woman they know they are meant to be. A huge part of her work involves challenging the fantasies that have been built up around motherhood.

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