Mr Redmond has big balls. In both a metaphorical and, for the forthcoming days at least, literal sense too.
Not a statement I feel the need to make very often but today, more than most, it is true. For today marks the day he had his vasectomy, underwent the snip and, tied his tubes, whichever phrase you find most palatable! In my mind, he stepped up to being the man of the house in the ultimate way.
It’s known to be a pretty straightforward procedure that thousands of men undergo each year, but I know from the school gate reaction – a great litmus test if ever there was one – that it strikes fear into the hearts – or testicles – of many.
Over the last year, we’ve discussed this procedure between ourselves, family and friends – I’m an over sharer much to Mr R’s regret – and it’s always met with a mixture of the following reactions: looks of horror, deep crimson blushes, the sharp inhalation of breath, heartfelt expressions of sorrow, pitiful pats on the back and cackles of laughter (usually from the women’s quarter).
Mr R has been told in equal measure that ‘it’ll drop off’, ‘it’ll turn black’ and ‘it’ll never work again’. On the flip side, we began to realise that many friends have already had it done under the radar but now proudly tell us that it was ‘a piece of cake’, ‘pain free’ and ‘has no impact on nocturnal activity’ if you know what I mean. Nudge, nudge, wink wink.
This would be an easy one to bottle.
Whilst we searched for ‘vasectomy shaves’ late last night on YouTube to prep for today’s ‘little scratch’, I felt squeamish for Mr R but deep down we both know it’s the right decision for our family.
In creating Team Redmond, I’ve given birth three times, been on the pill, forgotten to take the bloody pill, recoiled at the coil, ripped my lady garden in a most unladylike fashion, had stitches and peed myself so much and so often that the local cats became my best friends – surgery fixed that but I’ll save that for another post.
Now at 40, I’ve passed the buck to Mr Redmond. And what a team mate to have! He relaxed, uncrossed his legs and well and truly took one for the team.