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Today I broke lent

1
On the 5th of March I decided I would give up sugar for lent.

I was shovelling in the last of my pancake with sugar and lemon juice and I decided that would be my last spoonful of sugar for 40 days.

Fastforward 6 days and I’d broken it.

Why, why did I do that. Why set a goal and brake it so soon.

Well here’s why. Because I love me.

Doesnt make sense? Surely if I love myself I’d look after myself.

Well that’s exactly what I did. I looked after myself.

I have just worked 3 night shifts and my last one was stressful for a number

SelfishMother.com
2
of reasons.

I have toothache that was giving me head ache.

I’d bearly seen my son for the last 4 days and that kills me as he spends a week at a time at his dads.

I’d had a few hours kip on the Sunday before making the most of the last few hours with my son.

And I lost my temper. Big style. I opened a shit storm of shouting and swearing and frustration. Not at my boys (what I like to call my son and partner) but I lost it all the same.

I woke up on Monday morning and snuggled my son, and realised I felt frayed, fragile and a little

SelfishMother.com
3
dark round the edges. There was only one thing for it. I needed to look after myself.

Today that wouldn’t involve exercise because I’ve realised if I go when I’m not in the right frame of mind it actually sets me back. It isn’t conducive of the journey I am trying to walk down. I’m working on my mindset, but that will take time. I don’t want set backs so I work one day at a time.

Instead I went back to bed and I slept. I snuggled into my quilt and I slept. I like to play sleep meditation while I fall asleep, and today I picked one to

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4
make me think about love and gratitude.

When I got up I wanted one thing. A big, warm , comforting mug of tea. And I like my tea sweet. So there was only one thing for it.

I chose me.

Today I broke lent.

And if there is a god, or Jesus or whoever we are supposed to worship and he’s pissed that he fasted for me and I can’t go one week without sugar, we’ll he, or she, can kiss my ass. Because today I do not care what other people think I should do. I care about me and what I need. I am going to look after me.

And you know what else. I

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5
don’t feel bad or guilty for it. I feel content and relaxed and my mind feels healthier for it.

You can not pour from an empty cup.

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling fragile, or stressed, or frayed around the ages. Make everything else wait until you do you. Believe it or not they’ll thank you for it. They’ll love you for it because they will see you happier and content. They’ll be happier because you can give them more.

You can not pour from an empty cup.

I’ve said it twice on purpose, in the hope that you’ll hear

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6
me.

It is not selfish to look after yourself.

Be you first.

I’ll give up sugar again tomorrow.

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- 11 Mar 19

On the 5th of March I decided I would give up sugar for lent.

I was shovelling in the last of my pancake with sugar and lemon juice and I decided that would be my last spoonful of sugar for 40 days.

Fastforward 6 days and I’d broken it.

Why, why did I do that. Why set a goal and brake it so soon.

Well here’s why. Because I love me.

Doesnt make sense? Surely if I love myself I’d look after myself.

Well that’s exactly what I did. I looked after myself.

I have just worked 3 night shifts and my last one was stressful for a number of reasons.

I have toothache that was giving me head ache.

I’d bearly seen my son for the last 4 days and that kills me as he spends a week at a time at his dads.

I’d had a few hours kip on the Sunday before making the most of the last few hours with my son.

And I lost my temper. Big style. I opened a shit storm of shouting and swearing and frustration. Not at my boys (what I like to call my son and partner) but I lost it all the same.

I woke up on Monday morning and snuggled my son, and realised I felt frayed, fragile and a little dark round the edges. There was only one thing for it. I needed to look after myself.

Today that wouldn’t involve exercise because I’ve realised if I go when I’m not in the right frame of mind it actually sets me back. It isn’t conducive of the journey I am trying to walk down. I’m working on my mindset, but that will take time. I don’t want set backs so I work one day at a time.

Instead I went back to bed and I slept. I snuggled into my quilt and I slept. I like to play sleep meditation while I fall asleep, and today I picked one to make me think about love and gratitude.

When I got up I wanted one thing. A big, warm , comforting mug of tea. And I like my tea sweet. So there was only one thing for it.

I chose me.

Today I broke lent.

And if there is a god, or Jesus or whoever we are supposed to worship and he’s pissed that he fasted for me and I can’t go one week without sugar, we’ll he, or she, can kiss my ass. Because today I do not care what other people think I should do. I care about me and what I need. I am going to look after me.

And you know what else. I don’t feel bad or guilty for it. I feel content and relaxed and my mind feels healthier for it.

You can not pour from an empty cup.

So if you’re reading this and you’re feeling fragile, or stressed, or frayed around the ages. Make everything else wait until you do you. Believe it or not they’ll thank you for it. They’ll love you for it because they will see you happier and content. They’ll be happier because you can give them more.

You can not pour from an empty cup.

I’ve said it twice on purpose, in the hope that you’ll hear me.

It is not selfish to look after yourself.

Be you first.

I’ll give up sugar again tomorrow.

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