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Why You Are Not Accomplishing Your Goals

1
Ok, let’s keep it real!

You barged into 2019 with that same old tired list of resolutions, buckets and bottomless moxie (sorry, it’s no mimosa), sipping from a fire hose of goals that you have been daydreaming about since the moment you decided to poop or get off the pot! Look, I’m not one to judge. Cliff-diving into a laundry list of goals that starts to quickly take up valuable space on my refrigerator is something that I’ve struggled with for many years, and still do!

It’s not for lack of believing, wanting or trying. Nor is it because

SelfishMother.com
2
my heart wasn’t in the right place when I repurposed that paper napkin and went to town painstakingly thinking through the goals I wanted to accomplish this year.

And for days, even weeks, I felt good about it. This year was going to be different. No more cowtailing my way through it. I was ALL in. It’s now or never. It was time to woMAN up!

Day one.

I made it to the gym and jotted down the first few words on my shiny new business plan. Things really got good on day two. Hell, day three, four, five and even six I managed to plow through

SelfishMother.com
3
it. Then…

Life happened.

And most days by the time my work day ended, I was so exhausted from the pace and pressures that I hardly had enough energy to breathe.

By the end of January, all that pumped-up energy had deflated, and before I knew it, spring flew in like a breeze, summer heated up more drama in my life, fall fell forward and landed me in December; and there I was, once again tick-tocking to the countdown and ready to cliff-dive into another year.

Sound familiar?

So why do we often get stuck in our own humdrum? Don’t we

SelfishMother.com
4
have stamina, grit?

But sticking to our new year resolution is not about grit or willpower. According to U.S. News and World Report, 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. There’s also a positive emotional connection that is intrinsically linked to it. A study by Barbara L. Fredrickson and Christine Branigan at the University of North Carolina, infer that positive emotions broaden the scope of attention and thought-action. In other words, if your goals are fundamentally tied to positive emotions, then you will likely increase

SelfishMother.com
5
your chances of accomplishing them.

Simply put: if we believe that, by accomplishing our goals, there will be an enhancement in the way we live our lives, then we are more apt to stick to it.

I’m reminded of a few compelling stories of people who succeeded at their goals because there was an element of intrinsic value.

Stories like: J.K. Rowling, who was a single mom living off welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter novel. Now she’s the first billionaire author; or Sidney Poitier, who flubbed his lines in his first audition and was

SelfishMother.com
6
told by the Director to go get a job as a dishwasher. Poitier would go on to win an Academy Award and break down the color barrier in the American film industry; and Thomas Edison, whose teacher told him he was too stupid to learn. Edison went on to hold more than 1,000 patents and invent light; or Steven Spielberg, who was rejected multiple times by the Cinematic Arts program and would go on to create his first blockbuster movie, Jaws, that won three Academy Awards; and Walt Disney, who was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he
SelfishMother.com
7
lacked imagination. He’d go on to redefine American childhood; and Oprah Winfrey, who was fired from her first television job in Baltimore for “getting too emotionally invested in her stories.”

All of these people had two things in common: a positive mindset and emotional connection.

So, if you’re truly ready to change your mindset and not just dive but thrive, I’ve put together 19 Simple Things You Can Do to Help You Achieve Your Goals.

If not, it will literally chip away at our soul and sacrifice the most precious thing that we all

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strive to achieve: happiness.
SelfishMother.com
L.Y. Marlow

By

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- 1 Mar 19

Ok, let’s keep it real!

You barged into 2019 with that same old tired list of resolutions, buckets and bottomless moxie (sorry, it’s no mimosa), sipping from a fire hose of goals that you have been daydreaming about since the moment you decided to poop or get off the pot! Look, I’m not one to judge. Cliff-diving into a laundry list of goals that starts to quickly take up valuable space on my refrigerator is something that I’ve struggled with for many years, and still do!

It’s not for lack of believing, wanting or trying. Nor is it because my heart wasn’t in the right place when I repurposed that paper napkin and went to town painstakingly thinking through the goals I wanted to accomplish this year.

And for days, even weeks, I felt good about it. This year was going to be different. No more cowtailing my way through it. I was ALL in. It’s now or never. It was time to woMAN up!

Day one.

I made it to the gym and jotted down the first few words on my shiny new business plan. Things really got good on day two. Hell, day three, four, five and even six I managed to plow through it. Then…

Life happened.

And most days by the time my work day ended, I was so exhausted from the pace and pressures that I hardly had enough energy to breathe.

By the end of January, all that pumped-up energy had deflated, and before I knew it, spring flew in like a breeze, summer heated up more drama in my life, fall fell forward and landed me in December; and there I was, once again tick-tocking to the countdown and ready to cliff-dive into another year.

Sound familiar?

So why do we often get stuck in our own humdrum? Don’t we have stamina, grit?

But sticking to our new year resolution is not about grit or willpower. According to U.S. News and World Report, 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. There’s also a positive emotional connection that is intrinsically linked to it. A study by Barbara L. Fredrickson and Christine Branigan at the University of North Carolina, infer that positive emotions broaden the scope of attention and thought-action. In other words, if your goals are fundamentally tied to positive emotions, then you will likely increase your chances of accomplishing them.

Simply put: if we believe that, by accomplishing our goals, there will be an enhancement in the way we live our lives, then we are more apt to stick to it.

I’m reminded of a few compelling stories of people who succeeded at their goals because there was an element of intrinsic value.

Stories like: J.K. Rowling, who was a single mom living off welfare when she wrote the first Harry Potter novel. Now she’s the first billionaire author; or Sidney Poitier, who flubbed his lines in his first audition and was told by the Director to go get a job as a dishwasher. Poitier would go on to win an Academy Award and break down the color barrier in the American film industry; and Thomas Edison, whose teacher told him he was too stupid to learn. Edison went on to hold more than 1,000 patents and invent light; or Steven Spielberg, who was rejected multiple times by the Cinematic Arts program and would go on to create his first blockbuster movie, Jaws, that won three Academy Awards; and Walt Disney, who was fired from the Kansas City Star because his editor felt he lacked imagination. He’d go on to redefine American childhood; and Oprah Winfrey, who was fired from her first television job in Baltimore for “getting too emotionally invested in her stories.”

All of these people had two things in common: a positive mindset and emotional connection.

So, if you’re truly ready to change your mindset and not just dive but thrive, I’ve put together 19 Simple Things You Can Do to Help You Achieve Your Goals.

If not, it will literally chip away at our soul and sacrifice the most precious thing that we all strive to achieve: happiness.

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L.Y. Marlow

L.Y. Marlow is the author of Don't Look at the Monster, the host of The Monster Theory podcast and founder of StopLivingWithMonsters, an empowerment brand that helps women confront their fears and embrace their passion, purpose and power. She lives in Washington D.C., is a lover of chocolate, wine and cheese. Connect with her on stoplivingwithmonsters.com, facebook and Instagram.

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